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All not well with Diaspora marriages

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IN 2013, a Zimbabwean man, Patrick Chareka, murdered his wife Professor Ottilia Chareka in Canada.
He is now serving a life sentence in a Canadian prison.
In June 2014, a Zimbabwean woman, Nadina Abdul was found murdered in her house in Hertfordshire.
She left behind three children and her husband was convicted of her murder and is serving a life sentence in one of Her Majesty Prisons in the UK.
In January this year, a Zimbabwean woman, Emily Munemo, was also found murdered in her home in Essex, UK.
She left behind two children.
She was murdered by her husband, Gibson Mazikana, 41, who is now serving life in prison with a minimum of 27 years.
In July this year, a Zimbabwean nurse, 35-year-old Miriam Nyazema, was murdered by her boyfriend, Josphat Mutekedza.
The list of homicides committed by Zimbabwean men in the Diaspora is endless.
Men blame women, and women blame men for the marriages that are breaking apart, ending in homicides.
Last week a Zimbabwean man in Perth, Australia, wrote an emotional letter (posted below) warning men in the Diaspora against getting married.
The letter went viral on social media.
If there is one major social cost that comes with a life in the Diaspora, especially in Europe, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and USA, it is the destruction of families.
I know many families who have separated, divorced, or lost their children to social services because of domestic violence.
I also know a few men and women who are in mental institutions because of marriages that went wrong in the Diaspora.
It’s not only Zimbabweans experiencing the social turmoil, but domestic violence and marriage break-up is also common within the Nigerian communities.
Below is the letter (not all) from the Zimbabwean man in Australia warning all Zimbabwean men in the Diaspora against getting married.
When I read it I thought it was a hoax, but a lot of men I spoke with (after the letter was posted) agree with him and say he is speaking for the majority of them.
“WHEN I landed in Perth, Australia, back in 2000 with my wife and two young children from Harare, we were so happy to start a new life in a new country.
My wife and I were both graduates from the University of Zimbabwe, but realised that for us to be successful we needed to go back to school and earn Australian qualifications.
But, as parents with two young kids, it was not financially feasible for both of us to study at the same time.
As a focused and loving man I opted that my wife be the first one to attend university and study pharmacy while I worked multiple menial jobs to support the family.
For those in the Diaspora, I did it all; wiping of bums included.
It was not easy; my days were long and stressful.
To be honest, working menial jobs was not fun after being an executive in Zimbabwe for an insurance company for over eight years.
But I was determined to uplift my family and four years passed quickly. Remember with no maid, I had to do the dishes, scrub the floors, do the laundry, change diapers and cook for the family while my wife was studying.
After my wife graduated she became a member of the Pharmacy Board of Australia.
We were all happy as a family; the future looked bright.
My wife got her first job as a pharmacist in Australia and her starting salary was AU$31 an hour and, hypothetically speaking, it was her turn to support me as I went through my studies in radiology.
But this is when my marriage nightmare started.
The first eight months when she started working as a pharmacist everything went well until I discovered a series of emails showing she had been romantically involved with a white Australian male physician for over two years and it was evident they had had sex on several occasions.
My heart bled; I could not believe that while I was working hard for the family to help her finish her studies, she was busy sleeping with another man behind my back and the kids.
When I confronted her she told me she no longer needed me because I was useless and she stated that there were better men with more cash out there. Amazingly she called the Australian police on me and falsely accused me of being emotionally abusive yet I never laid my hand on her.
I was escorted out of the house and advised that I had to go through the courts to seek shared custody of the kids and never return home.
What a painful experience it was.
Fortunately, I had a supportive Christian couple that provided me with accommodation and food while I finished my education.
For years my life was a challenge; I was depressed, angry and felt betrayed, but God saw me through.
I worked hard and now I am a qualified radiologist in Australia.
I have no desire to marry, believe me.
My wife’s family was not helpful.
I guess one stands by their child even if she is in the wrong; life is full of injustice.
After this experience, I have great advice for Zimbabwean men in Diaspora; ‘DO NOT MARRY’.
Marriage is a waste of time and energy for men; there is no benefit.
Most Zimbabwean married men would agree with me that women are impossible to deal with in the Diaspora.
If you are about to get married, think it over.
Just look around wherever you are, men are being mistreated, and verbally abused; this is a serious crisis.”

H. N, Radiologist

I tried to send the writer of this facebook letter an email to find out more about his situation, but the email bounced back.
But the letter serves to show that all is not well in the Diaspora, there may be opportunities to make money (as the general belief), but that comes at a cost, including human lives.
So before you decide to pack your bags and leave for the Western world, think carefully of the consequences.

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