By Gracious Mugovera 

MANY people across the globe will celebrate Mother’s Day this Sunday.

Observed every second Sunday of the month of May, the day is, without doubt, considered by many as one of the most important days on the calendar.

Despite the continued fight against the COVID -19 pandemic, mothers around the world will enjoy being showered with gifts from their children and husbands, while those who have lost theirs will celebrate their memories.

The day is a reminder for many women to celebrate the gift of being called a mother.

Different societies celebrate the day in diverse ways, either shaped by culture or religion.

However, the commemoration of Mother’s Day brings to the fore questions, thoughts and perspectives concerning the issue of motherhood in the African context.

Questions that arise include: 

λ What defines one as a mother?

λ Who should celebrate? and 

λ What should one possess to be a mother?

In trying to tackle the above questions, different African authors have penned different perspectives on the issue of motherhood.

In her book titled The Joys of Motherhood, Buchi Emecheta highlights that some societies in Africa leave the burden of motherhood to women who, at times, give up their dreams as they pursue motherhood.

Emecheta’s book focuses on a character, Nnu Ego, who lives a miserable, poverty-stricken life but finds joy in being able to bear children. 

Ego defines motherhood solely by the success of her children and she sees her achievement, as a woman, in her success as a mother. 

Without motherhood, she sees herself as nothing and fought very hard to be a mother even if it meant marrying a man she did not really love.

“Her baby…her baby! Nnu Ego’s arms involuntarily went to hold her aching breasts, more for assurance of her motherhood… She felt the milk trickling out, wetting her buba blouse, and the other choking pain got heavy nearing her throat, as if determined to squeeze the very life out of her there and then. But unlike the milk, this pain could not come out though it urged her on, and she was running, running away from it. Yet it was there inside her. There was only one way to rid herself of it. For how would she be able to face the world after what happened? No it was better not to try. It was best to end it all this way, the only good way,” writes  Emecheta in The Joys of Motherhood.

Emecheta’s words highlight the importance given to motherhood by Ego who sees that it is better for her to die than to lose her child.

What Emecheta shows is that some African societies celebrate mothers based on their ability to bear children.

Unfortunately, some women will not get the opportunity to be showered with gifts because they have no children to do so.

These are women who have endured the burden of being infertile or those labelled as barren by their families, relatives and friends.

Due to cultural beliefs and some definitions by society, the happiness of such women is snatched away by ideas promoted by socialisation or religious practices which dictate that motherhood be defined through set of feelings and behaviour that is switched on by the process of pregnancy, labour pains and the bonus of having a child.

It is therefore necessary for society to spare a thought and celebrate with women who have no children to show or define their motherhood.

Although maternal ideas are entrenched in all cultures, patriarchal societies, Zimbabwe included, present a woman’s central purpose to be her reproductive function; motherhood and mothering become intertwined with issues of a woman’s identity.

A woman without a child is then viewed as a waste, to herself, to her husband and to her society.   

In her famous novel titled Everything Good Will Come, Nigerian author Sefi Atta also writes about the plight of women in Africa, highlighting how it is important for them to be associated with motherhood.

“Better to be ugly, to be crippled, to be a thief even, than to be barren. We had both been raised to believe that our greatest days would be, the birth of our first child, our wedding and graduations in that order,” writes Atta.

Though motherhood has been viewed by many in different light and presented in diverse ways, society should preserve a place and honour those women who feel empty due to their fertility issues.

The advancement of technology and influence of modernity should contribute to many African societies to redefine motherhood and embrace women who choose to adopt children and try in vitro fertilisation (IVF) as a result of being infertile.

As people celebrate Mother’s Day this year, it is important to remember that motherhood is vital but it should not be all that the woman is made for and that which defines her.