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Do men have real power over women?

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A cat and her strong friends

ONCE there lived a cat.
She thought: “The lion is the strongest of all animals.
“It is good to have strong friends.
“I shall go to the lion and make friends with him.”
She did so and the lion and the cat were friends for many days.
One day they went for a walk and met an elephant.
The lion began to fight with the elephant.
The elephant killed the lion.
The cat was sorry.
“What shall I do?” she thought.
“The elephant is stronger than the lion.
“I shall go and make friends with him.”
She did so and they were friends for many days.
One day they went for a walk and met a hunter.
The hunter shot the elephant and killed him.
“The cat was sorry and thought: “The man is stronger than the elephant, I see.”
So she went up to the hunter and asked: “May I go with you?”
“All right,” said the hunter.
“Let us go home together.”
They came to the man’s home.
His wife met him and took his gun from him.
The cat saw all that and thought: “Oh, the woman is the strongest of all!
“She can take the hunter’s gun from him and he does not fight with her or say a word!”
The man sat down at the table and the woman went to the kitchen.
The cat followed the woman in the kitchen and decided to stay with her.
That’s why you always see a cat in the kitchen at a woman’s feet.
A judgement
Golo the chief of monkeys went a bit too far, one day.
He and his tribe paid a visit to Demba’s water-melon field and ransacked the whole field.
Demba was not pleased when he discovered the extent of the damage the next morning and also went a bit too far.
He passed his annoyance to his wife the moment he stepped into his hut from the field.
He complained that the water which Koumba knelt down to offer him as she greeted him was not cold enough.
The couscous was too hot and the meat too hard.
When he got tired of shouting, he began to beat her.
When he got tired of beating her, he said “Go back to your mother.
“I repudiate you!”
He behaved like a hyena that eats its young and says it smells of goat.
Koumba, without a word, began to collect her goods and chattels, washed herself and put on her best clothes.
Her breasts were sharp beneath her embroidered camisole.
Her body rounded teasingly beneath her dress.
Her beaded belts tinkled at each graceful movement and her persistent aroma teased Demba’s nostrils.
Koumba put her bundle on her head and crossed the threshold.
Demba made as if to call her back, but he stopped in his pride and said to himself: “Her parents will bring her back to me.”
Our elders say you only know what use your bottom is when the time comes to sit down.
Ten days passed without Koumba’s return.
Demba began to realise what use a woman is in the house.
His midday meal was no longer brought out to him in the fields.
He had to light his own fire and cook for himself in the evening.
It’s not good for a grown man to touch a broom.
But what was he to do when dust, ashes and sweet potato skins piled up more and more on the floor of the hut every day?
It is not in keeping with a man’s dignity to be seen carrying a calabash, soap and dirty linen to the river to do the washing.
But what was he to do when his garments were becoming as filthy as a dog’s liver?
Continence is noble, but too slender to fill a couch.
Demba found his bed too wide to sleep in alone.
Koumba on the other hand found that to be a repudiated wife, if one is young and comely, in a village full of enterprising young men, was by no means unpleasant.
The man who travels with both his elder and younger brother has the most pleasant of journeys. At each stop the elder goes to look for a hut while the younger makes the fire.
Koumba, who had returned home among her elder and younger sisters, and with the reputation of having suffered greatly at the hands of her husband, was spoilt and coddled by all.
When there are too many things to pick up, it becomes quite a job to bend down.
It was a daunting challenge for Koumba to choose a suitor from the many who wooed her.
Still, a great playing of tom-toms was planned for the coming Sunday for Koumba to make her choice.
Alas!
Demba arrived on the Saturday before, saying, “I have come for my wife.”
Koumba’s parents said, “But you repudiated her!”
Demba said, “I did not repudiate her.”
Kumba was fetched from her hut.
“You told me to go back to my mother,” she declared and would not hear of returning to her husband.
Koumba’s parents did not know what to do.
A husband who repudiates his wife loses the bride price and cannot claim it back.
A husband who has not repudiated his wife does not demand his bride price back.
Demba had not demanded his bride price back.
Why?
“For the simple reason that I did not repudiate my wife,” he said.
“For the simple reason that you repudiated me,” she replied.
Both were right.
Koumba’s parents sent them to the elders of the village to find an amicable agreement between them.
But wherever they went Koumba kept saying, “You repudiated me.”
Demba kept saying, “I did not repudiate you.”
Demba was missing his bed whenever he said, “I did not repudiate you.”
Koumba was enjoying her suitors whenever she said, “You repudiated me!”
They finally arrived at Maka-Kouli where Madiakate-Kala, a great priest who had made innumerable pilgrimages to Mecca received them.
Koumba dined with the women.
Demba dined with the men.
When it was time to retire, Koumba refused to accompany Demba to the hut prepared for them. “My husband repudiated me,” she said and related Demba’s angry return from the fields and the abuse and blows he had rained on her.
Demba admitted having shouted, but not as loud as she claimed.
He admitted raising his hand, but only to make a few ineffectual swipes at her.
But he certainly had not repudiated her.
“Yes you repudiated me!”
“No I did not repudiate you!”
The argument was going to start all over again when Madiakate intervened and said to his youngest wife, “Take Koumba to your hut.
“We will settle the matter tomorrow.”
Tomorrow came.
Madiakate did not call for the couple.
Evening came.
Madiakate guided the village to prayer.
Hardly had he finished saying, “Assaloumou aleykoum,” than he turned suddenly and inquired: “Where is the man who repudiated his wife?”
“Here I am,” replied Demba from the back row of the faithful.
“Man, your tongue has finally spoken more quickly than your brain and your mouth has consented to speak the truth.
“Let this woman return home in peace to her mother because you have admitted before us all, that you did repudiate her.”
That’s how Demba lost Koumba.
Do men have real power over women?

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