IN our last installment, I concluded we owed it to future generations to leave a legacy of prosperity.
I reiterated that our future and that of our grandchildren was in our hands.
I touched on both our indigenous knowledge systems and the Early Childhood Development (ECD) curriculum.
According to the Bible, after creating man, God instructed him to multiply, replenish the earth and subdue it.
My point, however, is, we are supposed to equip our children to be creative and not be subdued by circumstances.
We are supposed to bring them up in ways that valorise them.
I also bemoaned the birth of a formal education system that disempowered and emphasised on the creation of dependent and employable cadres.
In a show of being civilised, we had even killed the creativity of our children as we bought into commerce for their entertainment, discouraging them from creating their own forms of entertainment.
Talking of self-esteem, I cannot help being reminded of my childhood friends, vokwaChinguuyu.
Because of lack vaipfeka migwada, (sheer loincloths that covered only the essential parts).
And yet they were so content with their situation that as we headed cattle, we would end up tagadzirawo yedu migwada tarasa mabhurugwa.
The greatest preparation for our children is to make them accept and be proud of who they are despite their circumstances.
It is therefore not amazing that despite their mean up-bringing, with this assertiveness that had been ingrained in them, the Chinguuyu children outgrew their backgrounds to become individuals of note in their communities.
This week I want to touch on the development of the ‘inside man’.
The greatest anchor for this inside man is the family and comes from proper parenting.
Providing for one’s family adequately does not make one a good parent at all.
A parent who capacitates his child to provide for himself and his family when his time is due while failing to provide for them, might even turn out to be better parent, when all is said and done.
True transformation is a result of a heart that is not corrupt.
A heart that is not corrupt knows no turmoil and is at peace with its environment, reserving all its energy for production and creativity.
Prosperity is measured not in terms of what we accumulate in the ‘here and now’, but in terms of the legacy we leave that is inter-generational.
I have said it before and will say it again; we are social animals and are created to be inter-dependent, serving one another for the progress of all.
The basis of our own individual prosperity should be guided by making contributions to our society that make everybody better off, the sumum bonum (total good).
Any other route is fatalistic and anti-social and should therefore be shunned as anathema.
This is why our economy is in the state it is in now and we must start working on the inside man if our children are not to be the wretched of the earth.
We have burnt our fingers many a time in pursuance of the self-centred greedy individualistic path.
This is not about not pursuing individual gain, but about avoiding the pursuit of individual gain through unrighteousness.
Parenting should focus on the heart.
Shaping influences children as they interpret what they see.
Children’s lives are largely influenced by what they see in their environment.
Your family environment therefore becomes the greatest influence on your children.
It is important to note that even when we grow into adulthood, it is the child in us who becomes responsible for our creativity and problem-solving.
Six factors immediately come to mind.
The family structure has a bearing on the adult who we will eventually become and how we will eventually organise our lives.
How is your family structured and do you think such a structure will positively or negatively affect how your child will eventually relate to others?
Do you run a barrack or monastery?
What are the family power-relations like?
In my family, we grew up with more workers and extended family members than the nucleus and our power-relations were age-based, independent of proximity to the centre.
We were basically task-oriented and while the ‘servants’ would be dancing at the local shops, we could be herding cattle on a Sunday or Christmas day.
It has had a marked impact in my life and enabled me to manage many complex situations at the workplace and in my business.
How family roles are structured does have an influence.
Who does what in the family and do they execute them and play their parts?
What family values are exhibited and promoted?
It is not about prizes, as what we value as families will affect our children.
There is bound to be conflict in any family, but how are conflicts generally resolved in the family?
Success and failure are twins.
How do we generally respond to failure?
When your child brings home poor results from school, how do you respond and manage the situation?
This is bound to reflect on their (children’s) capacity to take risks as adults or as they get faced with failure as individuals or nations.
Each family has its own history that will shape a child’s future and inner being.
Does our family history encourage our children to take the initiative, act or sulk in fear?
We are actors in the shaping of such a history.
All these shaping influences will affect our children and while they are not final, we must understand there is an even greater divine component in bringing them up.
Therein lies the importance, even in letting them recite the National School Pledge, which places him/her supreme even in the running of our nation.
This is the game-changer.
With God in their heart, even children with one parent can be transformed.
The walls of Jericho, the Red Sea and any other hindrances to accessing Canaan are subdued by the divine within us in the pursuance of what is good for our children and our nation.
It is important that we be wary of how we respond to challenges and successes in life, for therein our children will pick their lifetime influences.
When all is said and done, ask yourself if, like Solomon, you will be able to say: “My child, don’t forget what I teach you.
“Always remember what I tell you to do.
“My teaching will give you a long and
prosperous life.” – (Pro 3:1-2)