HomeOld_PostsHow friends fall apart ...lessons from African ancient wisdom

How friends fall apart …lessons from African ancient wisdom

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OUR ancestors in their wisdom always said, “Never sup with strangers in the absence of your people or friends because no one will take your word for the truth when they ask what your conversation with them was, even if you tell the truth.”
This is true in social life and politics.
The following story is instructive.
Once there lived two girls.
They were great friends.
They loved each other dearly.
They bought the same dresses.
They ate the same food.
They went to bring water together from the drinking well of the village.
People always saw them together and said, “What good friends they are!”
But one day a young man said, “You say those two girls are good friends.
“I am not sure about that.
“I shall try to find out.”
The next day the young man stopped the two girls on the street.
“Good morning,” he said.
“I want to speak to one of you.”
And the girls said, “No, you can’t do that.
“We are friends.
“You must speak to the two of us together.”
And the young man said, “I don’t want to speak to the two of you.
“I shall speak to only one of you.
“Then the one to whom I speak can tell what I say to the other.”
And one of the girls became curious to hear what the young man wanted to say.
So she allowed the young man to pull her aside and the young man whispered to her saying, “You, you, you, you, do you hear me?”
And the girl answered, “Yes.”
And the young man went away.
“What did he say to you, my dear?” the second girl asked.
“Oh, he said nothing to me,” answered the first girl.
“He only whispered; you, you, you, you…”
“What about me, me, me, me…?” the second girl asked.
“But it was not about you.
“It was only; you!”
“But you said, ‘Yes’ to him!
“You don’t want to tell me everything!”
“I tell you that it was only ‘you’.”
“Well, what about ‘me’?”
“Oh, you silly girl, I tell you he said only ‘you’.”
“So you don’t want to tell me anything, and I am your friend!
“No, I ‘was’ your friend, but I am not anymore!”
“Well, I don’t want to have such a silly friend!”
“You are a liar!”
“I’m not.
“But you are very, very silly!”
Then one girl went to the right and the other girl went to the left.
They did not even say good-bye to each other.
That was the unhappy end of their long friendship.
As our ancestors say, “Never allow strangers to pull us apart!”
Our ancestors also say once upon a time, a man had to go on a long travel.
He hid his money in a pot and put butter over it.
So nobody could see what was there under the butter in the pot.
Then he took the pot to his friend that he had always trusted for a long time and said, “Please keep this pot of butter for me till I come back.”
He did not say anything about the money in the pot.
A month passed.
Two months passed and three months, but the traveller did not come back.
And his friend thought, “I’m afraid the butter in that pot is bad.”
And he took all the butter out of the pot and saw the money there.
He took the money for himself and put many small stones into the pot in place of the money, and covered them with fresh butter.
When the traveller came back, he asked his friend for the pot.
He carried it home and took out all the butter.
He wanted to take the money, but found only many small stones under the butter.
He was very angry.
Then one of his neighbours came to see him.
“You look angry, my friend!” said the neighbour.
“Why are you angry?”
“Oh, I am a silly man.”
And he told the neighbour about the story of the pot of butter, the money and the small stones. “Well, I can show you how to get your money back.
“Let us go to the forest.”
And the two went to the forest, caught a monkey there and brought it home.
“Now you go to your friend and say, ‘Please let your son come with me to the market.
“He can help me to carry food from the market.’”
The man did so.
And his friend gave his son to him.
But they did not go to the market.
The man went home with his friend’s son and locked the boy in his house.
And his good neighbour said to him, “Now go to your friend with the monkey and say, ‘Here is your son’.”
The man did so.
The friend was very angry.
“Take the monkey away and bring back my son!” he said.
“Why, this is your son!
“If money can turn into small stones then a boy can turn into a monkey.”
Then, his friend understood everything.
He brought the money, and the man let the boy go back to his father.
The man thanked his good and wise neighbour very much and wanted to give him a part of the money.
But the neighbour would not take it.
“We are friends, aren’t we?” he said.
“And friends always help each other, but never take money for that.
“Never! Never!”
So it is between us and our land.
It is entrusted to us by our Creator and our Ancestors.
Never take money for it!

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