AS a mother of four children
growing up in the UK, the chances
that I will have daughters-inlaw
and sons-in-law from other
racial backgrounds are very high.
I will most likely have mixed race
grandchildren; and I already have
a mixed race grand-daughter
born to my son and his white
girlfriend, and I love my granddaughter
to bits.
Multiracial marriages are very
common, especially in the UK,
but not everyone accepts their
children to marry someone from
a different race.
A 67-year-old Irish woman,
Mrs Doohan, recently went into a
‘catatonic state’ and fainted after
her son brought home a black
girlfriend.
“Torn between trying to appear
fine with it while also dwelling
on what her neighbours would
think, she offered the girl a cup of
tea then was taken by a seizure.
Her son, after several failed attempts
to resuscitate her, called
the ambulance. The paramedics
found her immobile repeating the
words, ‘I’m fine with it, absolutely
fine with it’”; an online newspaper
called The Insyder wrote.
The mother recovered in hospital,
where, upon seeing the black
future ‘daughter-in-law’, she
thought she was one of the nurses
attending to her.
“At first, I thought the house
was being robbed…but then Sean
said, ‘I’d like you to meet my
girlfriend Suzanne’ and I just… I
don’t remember much after that.
I mean, if he wants to go out with
a black girl, then I’m fine with it,
absolutely fine with it. I’m sure it
won’t be for long, you know, until
she goes home. But I’m fine with
it. Really.
Absolutely fine with it,” another
online newspaper reported, quoting
the mother.
When my son introduced his
white girlfriend to me four years
ago, I did not see the different
racial backgrounds as a barrier to
their relationship.
I did not get into a catatonic
state, neither did I fret over a possible
white daughter-in-law.
Rather, my only concern was
whether she would accept to go
and live in Zimbabwe should my
son decide to go back to Africa.
The Independent (November
26 2006) highlighted that
mixed-race babies would soon,
“outnumber those born to black
couples in Britain,” with the 2001
UK census showing that, ‘people
of mixed race’ made up ‘the thirdlargest
minority group’ in the UK.
It is therefore very surprising
that this Irish mother, if it is true,
would faint when her son introduced
his black girlfriend to her.
But while more and more white
and black families are accepting
intermarriages, it seems difficult,
almost impossible, for intermarriages
between Asians (Indians)
and Africans.
In my community in Coventry,
I have come across two black
men who told me horrible stories
about their relationships with
Asian women. One guy, from
Ghana, had an Indian girlfriend
and went on to have a child with
her.
The Indian girl was disowned
by her own family; they never
wanted to have anything to do
with her and her son, it was bad
enough to marry another Indian
of a lower class (caste system)
and totally unforgivable to enter a
relationship with a black man, an
African.
The couple wanted to get married,
but in the end, the black guy
returned to Ghana to live there
permanently and the last time I
saw the Indian woman and her
son, she told me that she does
visit him in Ghana regularly, and
the Ghanaian family had accepted
her and her son.
But here in the UK, she was left
to fend for herself with no family
support.
Another case involves a Zimbabwean
man, Peter (for legal reasons
I will not use his real name
because the death of his girlfriend
was still under investigation
when I last spoke with him) who
had a relationship with an Indian
woman, but her parents did not
approve of their ‘unholy’ union.
The girlfriend decided to move
in with Peter.
When I met Peter sometime
last year, he told me that his
girlfriend had been killed by her
brothers for bringing shame to
the family.
And worse still, they killed her
in his own house; he had gone to
work when they came and killed
her.
Quoted by The Independent
(November 26 2006), an African-
Asian mixed race child, Sally
Okasor, then 25,whose father
was Nigerian and mother Indian,
said: “My mum had to run away
to marry Dad.
“To marry a black man was the
worst thing she could possibly do.
“I went to a wedding on my
mum’s side and my cousin barely
acknowledged me.
“Racism can be as indirect as a
feeling of being unwelcome.”
However, the Asians seem to
be more accepting inter-racial
marriages between Indians and
whites.
I have many friends who are
now married to white men;
although the majority always get
married to men almost old to be
their fathers.
I also have male friends who
have married white women, some
very professional white women.
Most of my African friends say
they have been accepted very
well, by their white in-laws.
However, one friend who was
married to a German man, told
me about how her white motherin-
law never accepted her; at least
by her deeds.
“My ex-husband would always
seek his mother’s approval for
everything that we bought in the
house.
“When she came to visit us, she
brought her own utensils.
“When we visited her, she never
allowed me to cook in her house
and as I look back, I am angry
that she gave me the same plates
and cutlery to use every time we
visited.” They eventually divorced
and she moved to the UK.
The fainting of the Irish woman
shows that black people are still
regarded as sub-human beings in
this 21st century, where the world
is a global village.
The Irish people recently voted
overwhelmingly to accept gay
marriages, but some people still
find it difficult to fathom a black
and white marriage.
May 29 – June 4 2015 COLUMN THE PATRIOT 5
Irish mother faints on seeing
son’s black girlfriend
View from
UK
Sarudzayi Chifamba
Multiracial marriages are very common, especially in the UK, but not everyone accepts their
children to marry someone from a different race.
The Irish people recently voted overwhelmingly for gay marriages but some of them still find it difficult to accept a black and white
marriage.