BY Masimba Mavaza

MANY Zimbabweans came to the UK to reside permanently.
Some came as families.
Others came singly.
Many of these eventually meet partners in the UK and get married.
They may deliberately marry partners from their home country.
This is mostly done because the cultural and regional similarities make the relationship easier.
Some men also marry women of other races and cultures in the UK.
The shock of the cultural change puts so much pressure on these marriages, causing divorces.
Unlike in Zimbabwe, the divorce rate among Zimbabweans in the UK is very high and alarming.
The average span of a Zimbabwean marriage in UK is about three years.
The rest of the time the spouses are having a convenient relationship.
But why is the divorce rate so high?
One factor is the impact of the new UK culture.
Zimbabweans stumble on the UK culture of rights and, in many cases, do not know how to handle it.
In typical African families, women play domestic roles, while the men are the bread winners.
Women do household chores, raise children and respect their husbands.
In UK, women find they have rights just like, if not more than men.
They hold important non-domestic jobs and are financially stable just like the men.
They also say household chores and raising children should be shared with men.
They read too much into the English culture and force it in their marriages.
Sexual life on the other hand is totally different.
In Zimbabwean families in UK, sex is not regular (once a week if you are lucky or nothing at all).
The normal answer is, ‘We are all working and I am tired’.
No doubt cases of infidelity are alarmingly high.
The women assume rights which are strange and unheard of.
They want to behave the English way very fast, and in the process destroy their families.
Some men resent some of these rights, finding them unacceptable and challenging.
The ‘rights’ are seen as a challenge to their masculinity.
In most cases, their reactions lead to frictions, which in turn, cause marital problems, and many of the marital problems lead to divorce.
Simple issues which could be dealt with in a proper cultural setting are blown out of proportion and lead to divorce.
Domestic abuse cases are very high in Zimbabwean families in the UK.
If a man refuses to cook, he is labelled abuser.
A verbal disciplining of the wife when she does something wrong is unacceptable.
In the UK, domestic abuse is, fortunately, a crime that comes with serious consequences.
If a man is charged with domestic abuse or assault of his wife, and is found guilty, he is subjected to serious punishment.
If the man is an immigrant, who has not become a citizen, he is also subject to deportation.
In most cases, wives take advantage of the consequences, and frequently lie to the police that their husbands have beaten them.
There are instances when a wife who is offended by a dispute between herself and her husband calls the police and lies she has been beaten to cause the police to arrest him.
Many marriages do not survive instances of domestic abuse.
Some men have their visas dependent on the whims of wives.
These men live in constant fear of deportation and are treated as slaves by their wives.
They are reminded hourly that they can be deported if they ‘misbehave’.
The highest number of divorces occur in Zimbabwean cross-culture or inter-racial marriages; that is a Zimbabwean married to a Caucasian or Jamaican, Asian or African from another state.
The spouses usually accept their racial differences, looking beyond them to get married.
But cultural problems are, however, tougher to overcome.
They initially suppress their cultural identities and feelings during courtship.
But in daily communication, likes and dislikes, relationships with friends, and most especially their extended family members, problems arise.
Some are marriages of convenience rooted in acquiring citizenship and when that has been achieved, divorce soon follows.
Beyond doubt, women in the UK have assumed too much power and are influenced by their workmates now in their 10th marriages.
Families are being ripped apart and churches have failed to intervene as the pastors tend to favour the spouse who pays more tithe.
Divorce has become stylish as more and more families take pride in ‘separating’.
The Zimbabwean’s quest for happiness, a strong component of his or her European dream, is lost.