THE late Vice-President Simon Vengesai Muzenda was a friendly and sociable man to the extent he became a character in many jokes around the country.
The soft-spoken and ever-smiling ‘Soul of the Nation’ not only made, but was also a butt of many jokes.
Those who were close to him often said Dr Mzee, as he was affectionately known, was aware of the jokes, but they never bothered him.
Below is a collection of some of the jokes:
l Dr Mzee was officially opening Masvingo prison and delivered a speech; “Jere iri ravakirwa imi vanhu vekuMasvingo. Zvamuri imi muchatangirwa kushandisa jeri renyu nevanhu vabva Mashonaland West, Bulawayo kana Harare. (This prison is for you people from Masvingo, I hope you will occupy it before the people from Mashonaland West, Bulawayo and Harare).
l “Vakomana vekudzidza munopenga chaizvo, munongoti dhora radonha, munodii kunonga?” (You learned boys keep mourning the fall of the dollar. Why don`t you just pick it up?)
l Dr Mzee was being driven in a car in one of the leafy suburbs in Harare. He was looking through the window at the gates and noted the first house had a sign written, ‘Beware of dogs’.
Since the vehicle was travelling at high speed, he could only read the first word on the sign on the first, second, third, fourth and fifth house and said: “Inga vana ‘Beware’ vakawanda kuside kuno, vakatenga dzimba kudai.”
l Dr Mzee goes to Timothy Stamps’ house, wanting to see the then Health Minister. He runs into Stamps’ 12-year-old son at the gate:
Mzee: “Where is your father?”
Stamps’ son: “He’s gone out.”
Mzee: “What about your mother?”
Stamps’ son: “They went out together”
Mzee: “What is your name then?”
Stamps’ son: “Ian”
Mzee: “Eheka iyewe! Saka nguva yese iyi wanga uchitaura neni nechirungu, iwe uchigona Shona?”
l Dr Mzee visits his sister in the rural areas and thinking he has spotted her from a distance starts calling her at the top of his voice. One of the bodyguards who knows that the old man’s eyesight sometimes plays tricks on him hands him a pair of binoculars to check if she is the one lest he strains his vocal chords for nothing.
Looking through the binoculars and seeing his sister clearly as if she were only a couple of meters away, the old man, in half a whisper says: “Ah!, Serenia, can’t you hear me calling?”
l During independence celebrations, President Mugabe and the two VPs Dr Johua Nkomo and Dr Muzenda were interviewed on national television about the colours on the National Flag.
President Mugabe: “Green.”
Dr Nkomo: “Yellow.”
Dr Muzenda had yellow in mind; so he looked around and said: ‘Check-Check’.
The interviewer requested the three to further explain on the meaning of the colours.
President Mugabe: “Green for vegetation.”
Dr Nkomo: “Yellow for minerals.”
Dr Muzenda: “Check-check for vanhu vakachekwa chekwa muhondo.”
l Dr Mzee was giving a speech at a function before regional police forces in Zimbabwe: “I would like to thank the ZRP from South Africa, ZRP from Lesotho, ZRP from Botswana, ZRP from Swaziland, ZRP from DRC, ZRP from Angola and ZRP from Mozambique for visiting our country.”
Dr Muzenda will forever be remembered for his good sense of humour.
Although there are numerous jokes about the likes of Buhera South House of Assembly Member Joseph Chinotimba, Dr Mzee’s were simply in a league of their own.
In fact, he, Dr Mzee, was one of a kind.