COURTSHIP is a very old act the world over.
Different animals; mammals, birds and amphibians, have different ways of attracting the opposite sex.
Often one male comes out the victor, depending on the different skills used to get the female. Tactics to lure a mate range from the weird to the comic.
The female species are left marvelling at some of the theatrics employed by males to win their hearts.
However, humans have had different ways to lure their female partners. There are also rare displays to attract the males or females, for instance, in Swaziland, thousands of girls parade themselves bare-breasted during the Reed Dance.
In other African societies, young girls and elderly women walk semi-naked during special occasions, such as rain-asking, fertility dances and funerals.
It is not known whether such acts are meant to attract males or not but the end result has often been that a male will have his choice.
Men used different tricks such as beating drums (kuridza ngoma) during special ceremonies; skillfully using a whip during the communal dipping of cattle, carving hoe and axe handles or other artefacts could earn one a woman. These skills contributed to supporting one’s woman in case they got married.
The drummer was hired during traditional ceremonies to play the ngoma, while the craftsman would carve hoe and axe handles for resale.
Other skills that earned men wives were being a gwenyambira, playing mbira (a sought-after skill by women), farming, hunting and singing.
However, these courting skills soon died down with the arrival of whites who forced able-bodied men to work on their farms.
These courtship skills were fast replaced by money which could now be used to pay lobola.
Those who lacked courtship skills were reduced to being village senior bachelors or tsvimborume, who endured taunts from villagers.
They were often called to do menial jobs in the village since they did not have substantial wealth to support themselves.
They were often paid in kind, with grain or any other types of food at the chief’s court.
When they eventually died, the tsvimborume were buried with a mouse or any other artefact so that their spirits would rest in peace and not come to haunt other villagers — the artefact or mice that they would be buried with represented your children that never were.
Those with skills, who succeeded in courting but did not have the money to pay lobola were asked to perform chores at the homestead of their future in-laws for several years as a form of bride price or bonded labour.
The man was asked to work for periods of five or more years, hewing firewood, herding cattle and tilling the land, among other duties. This act was referred to as kutema ugariri (bonded labour).
In Binga, northern Zimbabwe, it is still very common to see young girls walking bare-breasted pounding grain, mending nets, sorting fish or fetching water.
Over the years, these seemingly happy people have been preyed upon by overzealous tourists, movie directors and newspapers which portray a different Tonga woman.
The BaTonga, just like any other African traditional tribes, have over the years built a positive reminder of their history and that is about as real as it gets — walking with one’s breasts uncovered is a sign of purity or that one is still a virgin and has not been defiled in the case of young women, the practice is also common among the elderly matriarchs who can no longer bear children.
Courtship acts are different among the BaTonga as one is not allowed a public show of affection to their prospective female counterpart.
Here tradition dictates that one has to know the family of the girl before making any advances.
While most girls walk bare-breasted, one is not allowed to touch the semi-naked woman.
According to the BaTonga elders, these girls are ‘protected or fenced’, and they are only freed from the muti when they find a prospective suitor, one who is ready for marriage. The girls in most cases are virgins.
While virgin girls are sought after, especially in some communities both in Zimbabwe and southern Africa, keeping one’s virginity is often rewarded with a good marriage and a handsome bride price.
For the BaTonga, keeping one’s virginity is considered a very important part of womanhood.
Girls as young as 15 are allowed to walk with their breasts bare as a sign that they have entered adulthood and are ready for marriage.
During the time they walk bare-breasted, no man is allowed to touch them or sexually violate them; they are only allowed to be touched when they agree to courtship and marriage.
Anyone who abuses them would be fined a goat or cow, depending on the gravity of the assault.
Any man who proposes love to the girl goes through a thorough vetting process.
They are first introduced to the matriarch who questions the young man’s intentions. During this period the two newly-found lovers are not supposed to be intimate or touch each other.
A token to appreciate the gesture is deposited with the grandmother or the parents.
The tokens vary from hoes, axes, goats, chicken and/or money.
Before the girls are allowed to walk bare-breasted, they are subjected to virginity testing by elderly women who later recommend that the they should uncover the upper part of their bodies to lure prospective suitors.
The girl, when attached, is asked to cover herself, while she awaits her future husband to come and pay lobola.
Traditionally, a Tonga marriage is a complex affair requiring a formal courtship, the exchange of gifts between families and lobola payment in the form of cattle, goats or cash, to the bride’s family.
In Binga, much of this legacy still persists.
At the lobola payment ceremony, the old and young guests are attired in a blend of traditional and modern dress.
The father or grandfather of the bride passes a calabash of traditional beer; in turn the guests offer presents to the bride in the form of earthenware pots, cooking sticks, blankets, clothing and/or money.
With these, she would be ready to start a home.