‘PASTOR’ Evan Mawarire (left)’s antics at the United Nations Headquarters in New York, US, were from the onset going to be an unmitigated disaster.
From birth, it was a doomed affair.
What was meant to be a moment to savour for the hashtag pastor in New York through his widely publicised ‘UN Shutdown’ demonstration against President Robert Mugabe turned out to be a big yawn and horrible nightmare which the pretentious ‘man of God’ now surely wishes to be awakened from as a matter of urgency.
It has been a tepid period for the pastor who has been leaping from one disaster to another since he rode on his luck during the July 6 stay-away which was largely due to civil servants’ displeasure at Government’s temporary failure to pay salaries on time.
Much was made out of the July 6 misfortune which catapulted the comic pastor to the ever-embracing hands of the stupendously naïve West.
In New York, there was Mawarire, but the towering presence of the pan-Africanist grouping of the December 12 Movement not only loomed large, but extinguished the paper flames.
It gets worse for the short-lived success of the man of cloth.
In the beginning it was #hatichada (we no longer want).
But after a few nights in the cells, the con-pastor fled to America where he is now a ‘proud holder of the green card’.
It then became #hatichatya (we are no longer afraid), but the maverick pastor, with tail tucked between his legs, took to his heels and left his handful of confused followers in his wake.
Readers may well be interested in the logic behind the use of the word ‘we’.
It does not refer to Zimbabweans who have largely ignored subsequent shutdown calls that came in the aftermath of the civil servants-aided July 6 strike.
The ‘we’ is in apparent reference to his handlers in the West.
It has nothing to do with Zimbabweans here and abroad.
And in New York, he was supposed to prove to his handlers that what he failed to achieve in Zimbabwe he could do in foreign lands.
Snubbed both at home and abroad, the road ahead looks bleak for Mawarire.
The numbers spoke in America; the 300 plus December 12 Movement versus a measly five plus Mawarire backers.
Five is critical in that the pastor had claimed he would galvanise 5 000 people to support his egotistic cause.
The selfish pastor was humbled and humiliated by the determined December 12 Movement and his rants against the enlightened black-Americans that, ‘they are not even Zimbabweans’ was a timely indicator of how woefully detached the shameless pastor is from reality.
Mawarire had to recuperate in the strip clubs of New York.
As events proved last week, Zimbabwe can never be humiliated by pretenders-to-the-throne.
It was supposed to be the man of God’s grandiose moment, an opportunity to prove to his eternally gullible handlers that Zimbabwe can, after all, be shaken to its very core by hoodlums like the deceitful pastor.
But as the sun went to its mother, Mawarire was licking his wounds as Zimbabwe, ably and aptly represented by President Mugabe stood tall and proud.
Those who have been contemplating joining the Mawarire madness must listen to this phrase; ‘physician heal thyself’.
Harare has been doing this for quite some time now.
And Mawarire should have taken notes from the equally inept Morgan Tsvangirai, that Harare is not about to throw its life onto the streets for mad dogs to feed on.
The malfeasant ‘pastor’ gave the world a glimpse of his crude, insipid and banal insanity when he claimed he had stopped Nigerian tycoon Aliko Dangote from coming to invest in Zimbabwe.
People like Mawarire surely give religion a bad name with their penchant for leading their flock astray.
Let those with ears listen.